2019 was an interesting year.  For me, the energy of a decade closing was fully present in my life. When I look back, I see how much I put to bed in the last year and the foundation I put down for a thriving future.

Highlights:

• My romantic relationship bloomed into a full on partnership. The type of partnership I’ve always hoped for and chose to believe existed despite so much evidence to the contrary.

• I ditched the scale & dieting, embraced my body, my recovery and all the painful mindset work that came along with it to heal and nourish myself.

• I stopped using credit cards and created a structure that ensures I pay off all my consumer debt and create the financial stability that I have “wished” for most of my adult life.

• I created community and family in a brand new place.  I have amazing friends in the South now y’all! They are my rock and my family as much as my Chicago, California and New York families will always be.

So much went into all of these highlights and I have learned more than I could have imagined. Here are my lessons for the year through the 4 pillars of confidence:

Self-Care: I need more rest than a lot of the people in my life in order to function at my best.  That doesn’t just mean sleep, it means time to myself to veg, think, reflect, emote, and move in any way that my mind, body, soul, and heart call me to.  I hear these invitations in the silence and permission to just be...and giving myself that permission takes practice. I also learned that nourishing my body was my biggest gap to security and success until now. I spent too much time and energy trying to keep my body at a size and shape that I imagined made me worthy of love and success before this year.  Letting that go was terrifying and liberating. Nourishing my body with food, movement, rest, and acceptance has been more powerful, energizing, and motivating than I could have dreamt. Lots more of that coming in 2020.

Mindset: I am defined only by my values.  Not my weight, clothing size, bank account balance, credit card balance, number of clients, completed to do lists, goals reached, or other people’s opinions.  This is not a new theory for me or for most of you - but feeling it and knowing the truth of it is BRAND new for me this year.

Growth: I had a lot of financial and business setbacks this year and they led to massive changes in my life. My credit cards are officially out of commission- which means that putting down my coping and soothing strategies (buying things that I imagine will fix my life) is non negotiable. It’s been a journey, but I learned that I can do the things that,in the past, have felt life threatening: face my stories of shame and failure, conquer my fears of rejection and judgment, and asking for support and space.

Relationships:  I learned how to nurture my relationship with myself this year.  I came into 2019 with a focus on eating disorder recovery. Very quickly I realized that that meant going inward to address all my self judgments, stories created by societal conditioning and resentment held from former relationships (family, organizational, and romantic). It took me months to uncover the most destructive narratives (and I know there are many more) and address them head on. It was kind of like couples counseling with myself all year.  And it is far from over. But what I know without a doubt now, that the more I nourish my relationship with me the more my other relationships flourish and grow.

2019 was a year of closure and stage setting.  I feel the foundation under my feet for the year and decade to come and I am grateful for the work I’ve done and the work I have to do.  This year has taught me that I am in control of how I live my life, how I handle challenges and that I am capable of accomplishing ANYTHING I put my HEART into (my mind alone doesn’t cut it).

I learned that EGO leads to anxiety, drama and stress. I am leaving the comfortable cocoon of my ego’s stories behind and embracing discomfort and massive action going forward. 

What have you learned in these areas?  What are you highlights? Grab your notebook or print out this workbook HERE to review your year and close it out powerfully! Answer the questions in this workbook to complete your year with awareness and intention. Let me know how it goes!

Want free downloads to plan out your next year? Get them inside my Facebook Group: Confidence Collective!

With Love,
Edyta

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