11 Ways to Reduce Stress & Stay Mentally Strong
Before we jump into stress management, it's important to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy stress.
Healthy Stress is stress caused by exciting or positive events. Think: new job, new baby, vacation planning, Holiday season, etc. Healthy stress helps you stay motivated to meet goals and get stuff done, some researchers have found that it can even help strengthen your immune system! This type of stress is relatively short term and is mixed in with excitement and positive emotions.
Another “healthy” stress is the TRUE fight or flight response. When there is actual physical danger, we want our nervous system to respond with the maximum of stress available to get us into action for our own safety.
Unhealthy stress, on the other hand, is stress that becomes intrusive or overwhelming. It lasts for long periods of time and is caused by anxious thoughts, unwelcome events, sudden changes, or very demanding circumstances.
Unhealthy stress can leave us tense, emotionally exhausted, irritable and on the verge of breakdown. If it is particularly intense and prolonged, stress can lower our immune system or even lead our bodies to shut down through a variety of health issues.
But there is GOOD NEWS! There are simple and time effective ways to manage and lower stress to keep it at healthy levels.
REST: This is the FIRST thing I talk to my clients about when they are feeling stressed. Stress can trick us into thinking we need to stay in action around the clock. This leaves us stressed, drained, and feeling more helpless than ever. It is amazing what a good night’s sleep or a midday nap can do for our stress levels. If your stress levels are through the roof and your sleep is under 7.5 hours per night, your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT action item is getting to that 7.5 hours any way you can.
BREATHE: The fastest and most effective way to manage stress on the go is with 3 slow deep breaths. If you can, close your eyes, if not, that is completely fine, it still works. When we are stressed, our breath becomes shallow and quick, we take in less oxygen and stress our bodies even more than our brains are already doing. Taking those three breaths slows everything down, gives your nervous system time to catch its breath (pun not intended) and gives your brain an opportunity to break up some of the racing thoughts that are happening under the surface which frees you up to think just a little more clearly and calmly.
CREATE: Bust out the coloring books and crayons. If you have kids, pull out their finger paints and some paper and put some color on paper. Do this in any way you want, even some iPad drawing and creating will do the trick. Make something that you enjoy making. This stress reliever isn’t about the final outcome in the slightest, heck if you crumple up your work and throw it away, that is totally fine, just as long as you dive into the process of creating an expression of your feelings here. The repetitive motion of coloring is soothing while the openness of a sheet of paper invites emotional expressions of rage, sadness, or frustration to be slathered onto the page. Whichever speaks to you, take it on, maybe a little bit of both. But either way, art soothes.
MOVE: There is the obvious movement: gym, walk, run. But there are so many other types of movement that are gentle, nurturing and quick which relieve stress just as much as the heart pumping sweaty workouts we are used to thinking about when we think stress reduction. Listen to you favorite song and sway to it, just let your body feel the beat and do it’s thing.
JOURNAL: There are a number of different ways to approach journaling for stress. One is to dive in and do a brain dump. All the things floating around in your head - whether they make any kind of sense or not - get them out on paper. I find this to be an easier method for seasoned journal writers. For the rest of us, prompted journaling is effective and efficient as it guides us through our subconscious to release the pressure cooker valve in our brains.
POSE: Most of us don’t spend too much time thinking about what our bodies are doing when we are focused on a task or thought. Taking time to position your body in ways that emulate the feelings you need to sooth is a powerful way to ease stress and bring you back into yourself. My favorites are: the superwoman pose when you are feeling out of control and need to get back to your power and confidence, and the yoga sun salutation to calm your system and bring peace and clarity to the next part of your day.
TEACH: Share your knowledge of how to reduce stress with those who ask for it around you or put out a Facebook or Instagram live on the topic with tips and tricks that you know work for you. Teaching others about relieving stress helps you connect to your own internal stress relief compass and brings you back into driving the stress bus instead of letting it drive you.
SERVICE: Very related to teaching but with a little more personal. This can be in the form of supporting a friend or family member in their own stress or helping others by volunteering in some way. Giving back takes the focus off of whatever we have going one for just enough time to help us see things a little differently when we come back to it.
HUG: Human touch literally produces stress relieving hormones in our brains and bodies and calms us down. So hug someone you trust, let them hold you, give them a squeeze or settle in for a good cuddle if that is an option. Holding your children has the same effect and even hugging your pet will give your system a much needed surge of relief and love.
FEEL IT: This one is the most intimidating AND the most effective way to manage and relieve stress. Allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge the stress without judgement but with compassion let’s it move through you faster. In the short term, this approach is most intimidating but so very important. So HOW do you feel your feelings? Give yourself some space each day to just let whatever comes up come up. I find that an Adele song playing in my car gives me access to that releasing cry that we often forget we need.
SHARE: If you have a therapist or a life coach, definitely share your experience and feelings with them. If not, a trusted friend who you can ask to just listen and be there is a wonderful place to share. Telling someone what we are going through, without commiseration or trying to fix it, makes the intense stresses feel shared and less burdensome thereby lowering our stress levels significantly.
PS. If you need some assistance finding a great therapist or coach, let’s jump on a call and get you started with some people to call.
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